Be an Erika Nardini in a World Full of Ellens

Erika > Ellen. And if you don’t think that’s true, you’re not paying attention.

Remember at the start of every Ellen episode when she would do that wildly uncomfortable table/chair dance hover thing for like 10 minutes before finally sitting down? Maybe it was my OCD but it always drove me fucking nuts. Just sit down. Please.

Erika Nardini would never do that. She probably wouldn't even have time for that if she wanted to. Not my CEO.

I’m just speculating here, but I think when Nardini gets to work, she sits down in her chair, kicks off her pumps, gives her toes a little post-hockey rub, maybe snaps a few feet pics to keep in her back pocket because women’s hockey teams don’t buy themselves, and she gets to fucking work.

She’s not straddling tables, I sure as hell know that.

I personally wasn’t that surprised to hear about the Ellen Degeneres controversy because years ago I had heard on good authority that she is a essentially a monster during filming. And if there’s one thing my last relationship taught me, it’s that when something seem too good to be true, it usually is.

But not Barstool. Not Dave Portnoy. Not with Nardini by his side.

Portnoy has yet to break my heart in 17 years and I would like to think he never will. ❤️️

Okay, so Barstool is controversial sometimes. At least they’re not fucking boring all the time.

There are only two things I know. Life is too short to:

1) be boring

2) bet the under.

Like the old Token CEO saying goes:

Here’s the thing about Barstool. Maybe you don’t like them. Maybe they’re too good, too young, too rich, or too loud for you. Maybe Portnoy’s dick is bigger than yours and you’re being a little baby about it. But at least with Barstool, there’s no bullshit.

You know EXACTLY who you’re getting into bed with, which is a rarity these days.

What you see if what you get with Erika and Dave. You either love them or you don't. And if you don't, it's no sweat off their backs. For every person who doesn't like them, there are a hundred Stoolies that would take bullets for our fearless leaders.

And they’re not awkwardly dancing on tables over there either. They’re dancing in the moonlight, on the road Dave Portnoy paved there. Brick by fucking brick.

I don’t know about you but I would rather a pit bull in pumps than a wolf in sheep’s clothing any day. 👠

That's the Barstool Difference.

VIVA.

Your humble backup CEO,

Taylor Cooperband